This year I choose one word that was going to be the theme of my year. That word was hope. The reason I choose this word is because hope is one of the most important things when fighting an illness. When the pain is bad and you feel absolutely miserable, if you lose hope, the situation crushes you and it feels like a battle that you will never be able to win. But if you have hope, even just a little bit, it gives you something to focus on. It gets you through. If you don’t hope then you give up, you basically surrender to your pain and accept that you’re never going to get better. But if you can just find one thing that is going well or one thing that there is potential to improve, you begin to focus on that and not the things you can’t control. That’s when I throw myself into whatever it is that I have chosen to have hope about and I do my best to make it happen. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. When it does it is the greatest feeling, but even when it doesn’t I know that I have spent time thinking about positive things rather than feeling defeated. Then I move onto something else, I always do.
This year I have many things to be hopeful about. I got a PICC line so I could get infusions twice a week without constant needle pokes. I am getting ankle braces so I can work harder at getting my body stronger. At some point this year I will be getting a service dog to help me with the stairs and other mobility related tasks.
While all of those things bring hope to me, this year I get to write this blog and hopefully bring hope to others. Which makes me so happy. God gave me these struggles and I’m determined to use them to bring other people hope and point them to Jesus who is where our hope can be found.
~Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31~